Alright then

Okay then, since everybody else is letting it all hang out (everybody being Limon and Brian) I will too. Here's my dirty secret:

I hate my breast implants.

Haaaaaate them.

Let me elaborate...

For the first week, two weeks after having them put in, I was in a lot of pain. I know I blogged some of that, but maybe I didn't blog much, I don't know. But I could Feeeeeel them inside of me. They literally felt like two...things...pasted to my ribcage. When I laid on my back, I could feel the weight of them pressing down. I could lie there, and without touching them I could Feeeeeel the outlines of them. I still can. The Feeeeeling has not gone away.

Imagine any other organ or body part that is inside of you. Take...your liver. Now concentrate. Can you feel the perimeter of it? Can you feel the weight of it inside of you? No? Good. That's normal.

When I sat, I could feel these things hanging inside of me. Not like a part of me...not like, my ever-sagging tush hangs down a bit further than it used to. No. This felt like something...inside...that was unattached to everything else. I still feel that way. That sensation never went away.

Of course, that is exactly what they are. Just heavy bags of water inside, unattached, just hanging there. When you put something of a reasonable size inside of a bag, and you hold the bag, you can tell you're holding more than just bag, right? That's how I feel ALL THE TIME with these stupid boobs.

Being constantly aware of them has made me, over the past two years or so, believe that it's just really a crime against nature for me, personally, to have these things in me. I mean, these things just do not feel anywhere near natural. Not even sort of. And I don't mean 'feel natural' to the touch. I mean, feel natural to wear inside of you every day. For crying out loud, you even forget you have a tampon in after 20 seconds. Tampons are more natural than this.

Now, in the initial months after my boob job, I told myself that all of these thoughts would go away as I became more used to them. They would begin to feel like a part of me. After all, when I had my nose done, I had no trouble accimating at all.

What I've realized is that with my nose, they didn't add anything that wasn't there in the first place. Yes, they replaced a few little bits of my inner nose structure with thin plastic, but it's not like they introduced structures that hadn't been there to begin with.

Bottom line? I want these OUT of me. I made a mistake. All the benefits (and there have been a lot) have ceased to outweigh this stuff I have just described. I know that kajillions of women get a boob job and love it forever--I guess the benefits continue to win out over the negatives, for them. It's just not that way for me.