Family Guy's Brian

So last night I was watching Family Guy right before I fell asleep. It was the one where Brian meets the old lady who used to sing commercial jingles.

I, like everyone else who watches the show, love it that rarely does any character comment on the fact that Brian is a talking dog. He dates human women, has a job (sometimes), goes to bars, marries Lois. I love it that he's an alcoholic. I love it that he still chases tennis balls and masturbates to "Hot Bitch" magazine. He is a fabulous character.

But last night I began to think: If dogs like Brian existed in real life, would people date them?

I mean, if a 4 ft tall white talking dog with opposable thumbs came into my life, could I find him attractive? And I tried to -really- picture it:

--a 4 ft tall, white, furry dog

--who can talk, and not only that but can talk about intelligent things

--who can hold down a job despite some trouble with alcohol (and let's be fair: his alcoholism seems to spring from his unrequited love with Lois)

--who is cultured and polite and funny...

Would I date him?

Tom said, "Ew, but...he's a different -species- and all; wouldn't that gross you out? And you couldn't, you know, reproduce."

I said, "Yeah, but he's not like a -regular- dog, and besides, gay couples can't reproduce either." Although I think what Tom really meant was, "Ew, sex with a dog??" And let's get this straight: it's not that I want to have sex with regular dogs. By any means. But Brian is no regular dog.

He'd be real snuggly in bed.