Real Date of Post: 2003-02-10

Well, the test is over and I'm not so sure I did all that well. But it's excruciating to sit in a room and write essays for five hours straight and by the end of it I didn't even know *what* I was writing.

If they don't pass me I don't know if I will be able to handle it psychologically. Mainly because it was so excruciating last time they failed me and I've been through thin and thin (there was never any thick) with this damn program and they owe it to me to let me go. I know that the first time I failed was hazing; I'm just afraid they're not done hazing me yet.

If I don't get my motherfucking master's degree this time, it's going to seriously screw things up for me. My husband took his PhD exits the other day too, and he is so smart and loved in this department that I know he'll have no trouble passing and the will not haze him because they adore him. So, in a few short weeks he will be Dr. D. and I will probably not be Prof. A. and so when we hunt for jobs he'll get one and I won't. What am I going to do? Sit on my ass for another nine months until I am allowed to take the test again? It is eating me alive. Five weeks until I find out if I passed or not.