So freaking hungry.
Tom will be home tomorrow, and it's a good thing too because there's no milk in the house, we're running out of dog food, and I am beginning to emaciate. I'm too lazy to feed myself. This, and the fact that my parents rarely cook and so I never learned to cook either, is the reason that I have been thin all my life. I have gained about ten pounds (to appx 125) since Tom and I began to date but I've lost a few since he hasn't been home all week.

I know that it's sorta pathetic that I am too lazy to feed myself, but I seem to have done alright so far in life, except that I've been anemic for the past 15 years or so. Probably longer. Eventually one of two things always happens: either I give in to pain and prepare something, or the pain goes away and a few hours later in a dreamlike state I discover that I am snarfing down a loaf of bread or something.

It's also that food is disgusting if you stop to think about it, and I have this problem where I do that. I am capable of eating gross things to prove to myself that I'm tough (I know that sounds weird) but too often everything starts seeming gross. For example, last night, out with friends, I ate some sort of revolting sushi wad. I hate sushi but I always gotta eat a piece to prove my toughness to myself. But that's one bite of food. Often my brain takes off when I'm eating something normal and harmless and suddenly I am internally writhing in revulsion--I have to force myself to continue eating and think of something else to distract myself. All those chewing sounds echoing in my head. The mushifying going on inside my mouth. Truly yucko.